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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Life surely full with mystery.


What if...

one day you received a bad news that will change your life forever?

That you can only live for a short period

because that sickness is killing you slowly

for 2 years you have been battling for it

the doctor gave you medicine. But it will only slow it down.
not cure it

and every time you took that medicine
you feel nausea
you feel like hell

until one point, you had enough

you give up, you stop taking that medicine, and you just let that sickness claim your life

You have no more prospect in life
You have no plans for the future
You just wait for your time to come

the only thing that keeps you going is your work
you get yourself busy with work
because that's the only thing you can focus on

you get tired when your family always ask for your concern
until one point, you just want to move to somewhere else
you just want to live in peace

What if..

Someone special entered your life

who brings joy to your life

who love you unconditionally

who accepts you as you are
imperfect
full of flaws
but still that person loves you deeply and wholeheartedly

But...

you can't accept the love that that person want to give you

because you know, you will die soon

and it's unfair for that person to mourn for you

Day by day..

You keep on getting pressured

"Why can't you accept my love?"

You told that person:
"My life is unstable"
"I am too committed with my work"
"I have financial problems"

But it's just a minor thing
If you love someone so much, you keep those thing aside

Thus, that person questioned you all the time

"I can't understand why?"
"Are you just playing with me?"
"Do you take me for granted?"

Until one day,

both of you had a big fight

so you have no option

but to tell the truth

"I have brain tumour"


and tears starts to flow...






Life is full with mystery.
I will cry until I feel unable to cry anymore.


Perhaps I will stop crying when my eyes are close tightly.
That time, I just want you to remember me until the last breath.
I will miss you.


Saturday, February 26, 2011

Maria Aragon


I fall in love with this song after I heard she sang this song. Maria Aragon have a very nice voice and she's superb! I love her voice very much.\

Lady Gaga said "Can't stop crying watching this. This is why I make music. She is the future."

Friday, February 25, 2011

Piece Of Me - Prologue



            Just because I’m quiet it doesn't mean I don't have anything to say. I judge people too easily from my first impression. No offense. I’d rather wait forever for the perfect girl. Rather than searching for nobody. I’m unpredictable and spontaneous. I try to be forgiving. I enjoy being unique. I’d rather look immature and have fun then care what other people think. Sometimes I’m really confident, other times I feel really insecure. My friends mean everything to me, but sometimes I just want to be alone. I envy people who can fit in so easily without even trying. I’m opinionated and stubborn. But I’m loyal, sincere & caring. I always try to see the best in you even if you annoy me. I hate when people make me feel guilty to get their way. I’ll always be here to listen to your problems and I will stick up for you no matter what happens. Name given Abg Muhammad Syafiq bin Abg Mohtar. People called me Afie. And this is me. The beginning part of me.


Do you ever see the building inside the picture? If you live in Kuching, I know, you all have seen this building. What? Yes. This building is a Ting Ting Shop next to Borneo Hotel that were located not far away from Wisma Pelita or youngsters called it "Alakat"
This picture was taken on 1960's. This is a postcard and has been printed in US. The age of this building is totally older than me even older than my mum's. Unbelievable isn't? And that why, you must believe what story will I write in the next chapters of "Piece of Me"


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

All this harsh things

It has been a week I didn't update my blog. I got many things to say but I don't know where to start. Many things have happened during this one week. Many bad things than good thing happened to me within this week.

Indeed!
What? Indeed? Why must I say so? I feel very awkward. Feel bored to enter all classes. Feel reluctant to do all the exercise. And for the first time I got zero in my quiz.

What? Suck isn't? I know. I also regret about it. Why I turned up like this? Where is my spirit to do well in my studies? Where all those things go?

My aim, my targets, all gone. I feel very lazy to wake up in the morning and turn up in my classes. But, I have too. Because I want to get myself better than others.

I don't to make myself continue behave like this. I must change. I must return back my self-esteem. I need a friend to talk with. That can advise me, which can motivate me as well as encourage me not letting me down until the deepest place in earth.

To be honest, I don't feel like to pursue my studies. I feel like to quitting this all harsh thing. But, why must I do all that? I must finish what have I start. And that’s all that I can do.

Wish me luck people. Insya Allah, I will manage to get a degree for myself.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Refleksi

Mengkritik tidak bererti menentang, Menyetujui tidak semestinya menyokong, Menegur tidak bermakna membenci, dan berbeza pendapat adalah kawan berfikir yang baik.


Orang cemerlang sentiasa belajar daripada kesilapan lalu, orang yang berjaya bukannya tidak pernah jatuh tetapi bangkit semula setiap kali jatuh. Kegagalan sebenar ialah apabila kita berhenti mencuba.




-Hadis Riwayat Muslim-

Monday, February 14, 2011

The title BEFORE!

Before this we are good friends.
Before this we shared everything.
Before this we always hang out together.
Before this I always accompany you to revised your studies.
Before this we always have fun each other.
Before this we always helped ourselves.

But that was before.

Now, you are far apart from me.
Even though your body is here, perhaps your minds are not here.
You have your secret that I don't know.

And now, your always keep your secret by yourselves.
Now, you are different.
You are not you that I know for the past years.
Maybe I'm also different.
From talkative before I become a bit silent.

Before and after. Days and times. It does change everything includes us. You are not you that I know before and you are you after I know you yesterday.

But, my heart still here just for you. You have made your promise before and I did make mine. And until now I still bear it on my minds those promises. :)


At last.

At last. This is the ending and the beginning of the programs. :)

I'm glad because you were there become my leader.
I'm glad because you were there to arrange everything.
I'm glad because you a good leader.
I'm glad because you manage to do your best to our project.
I'm glad you did it. :)

Even though you talk nonsense and sarcastic but I'm extremely felt glad because what have we plan past few weeks back has nearly come true. :)

I feel lucky because you were here to give a lot of ideas from your intelligent minds. Muah! HAHAH!

Hope this project will be our best project ever.

I'm a human. Of course I did mistakes and everybody does. So what is good come from Allah S.W.T and the badness comes from me, myself.
I'm seeking thousands of apologies if I have made you all feel awkward and feel uneasy during those plans were concerned.
Even though I'm not seeking this apology in front of you all, but here Allah heard and listen what I've said.
I'm a human. And this is me. Nobody can change me except myself and nobody can mold me except myself.

Assalamualaikum W.B.T


Saturday, February 12, 2011

Live, Laugh, Love

Mind is the master power that molds and makes, 
And we are Mind, and evermore we take
The tool of thought, and shaping what we will,
Bring forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills,
We think in secret, and it comes to pass -
Our world is but our looking glass.

-- James Allen

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Poison Tree


I was angry with my friend: 
I told my wrath, my wrath did end. 
I was angry with my foe; 
I told it not, my wrath did grow. 
And I water'd it in fears, 
Night & morning with my tears; 
And I sunned it with my smiles 
And with soft deceitful wiles. 

And it grew both day and night, 
Till it bore an apple bright; 
And my foe beheld it shine, 
And he knew that it was mine, 

And into my garden stole 
When the night had veil'd the pole: 
In the morning glad I see 
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree.


By : William Blake

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Friday, February 4, 2011

A Great Best Friend



Be your own best friend first. Learn how to respect yourself. Decide what boundaries are important to you and respect them. Understand what values are important to you, stick by them and seek others who honor those values.


  • Be loyal. Stick up for your friend when they need it. Respect those times when they need to stick up for themselves. Trust your friend and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. Also come to understand their limits and say "no" when you need to while still being their friend. A friend of integrity is of great value. It is the fact that through ups, downs, and disagreements you still seek to work things out and be their friend that truly demonstrates your loyalty.



  • Listen. Nobody likes a best friend who just talks and talks, but never listens. If you're a chatterbox, it's okay if you're also a good listener. Whenever your best friend says something, listen carefully and say something. Don't just say "yeah" and move on. Don't interrupt or fidget continually while they're talking to you. If they ask for advice, listen carefully and give them the best advice you can. It'll earn you respect and of course, make them come to you more.



  • Be trustworthy. If they tell you a secret, keep it, never ever, ever, tell someone a secret your friend wanted you to keep. Don't even leak it out to someone you know you can trust. A secret is a secret. Don't gossip about your best friend, don't say anything that might turn into a rumor, and don't do things that you know would upset them. For example, if she/he had a crush on a cute guy/girl she/he would be embarrassed if you told someone. Make sure you know your best friend is okay with it. Things like that are sometimes hard to do, but if you want a solid friendship you have to be trustworthy.



  • Stick up for them. Sitting and watching your best friend get picked on or teased is definitely not going to earn you a brownie badge!! in best friends. If your best friend is getting seriously bullied and you're scared you'll get hurt if you get involved, then get help from a teacher or parents. If you can stick up for them without getting harmed yourself, make sure you do so. Sometimes you can feel totally better after being picked on when a friend tells everyone else to shut up and clear off.



  • Spend time together. Hang out on the weekends or plan activities together every now and then, do some homework together, and chat during break at school. You don't have to live in each others' pockets, but make sure you spend some quality time together with your best friend to make the friendship grow and become stronger.




  • Be yourself. Being yourself around someone is part of what makes you guys best friends. Be best friends with someone who you know you can be yourself around, because it isn't worth it trying to be someone you're not so you can be closer to someone. Don't hold things in either, so if you feel uncomfortable or have hard feelings against your best friend, talk about it with them. Make things comfortable between you two, and you'll both go through thick and thin together.



  • Care for your best friend. If they're away from home, send them cards or care packages to show that you care. If they're sick, call them and ask how they are doing. Best friends care for each other. Show them you appreciate their presence in your life. Write them notes to show that you care and are thankful for them, and ask about their lives. Share your own stories, but make sure you have time for them.



  • Avoid Expectations. If you assume what best friends' roles are, you will get disappointed and frustrated. Best friends are one of the most valuable friends you have, but they cannot help or support you in every aspect of your life. Do not expect them to always be there, or expect them to say the thing you want to hear. If there are expectations your Best friends need to reach, that will only leave you in a disappointing defeat. Be nice, do not email them saying they are a liar or you won't feel so good.



  • Share laughs. There is nothing like laughing and smiling to bring people together. Besides, when they're really friends, you guys can laugh at the dumbest and funniest stuff.



  • Be yourself. You are who you are, and your best friend will accept that. Being "fake" could lead you to losing your best friend.



  • Trust each other. You may find it hard in life and think that it is impossible to keep your best friend happy. To be a good best friend really doesn't take much. All you have to do really is make sure you can both trust each other with everything and you don't keep secrets. You will go through rough patches but everyone does a some stage in their lives. Just remember though, in order for them to tell you things you do have to tell them things too, even if it's nothing big. Being a best friend means you talk about everything together and you have so much in common. Some best friends do everything together, they have fun and they can be on the phone for hours just talking about their day they have had. You also need to make sure that they know you are always there for them, when ever they need you and that they feel comfortable talking to you about any problems they have. Bear in mind though that sometimes you will have to give the some space so that they can have time alone and think things through. Being a best friend you have to understand them and maybe sometimes or most of the time ask them for advice. You should never keep anything back from them either, even if you think that they will get hurt by it.



  • Spend some time together. If you feel like you are drifting apart a little then maybe think about doing something together one day, like going shopping or having a sleepover.. you know something fun. Most girls would know that being a best friend means telling gossip that you have heard and you need to fill them in on it. Sometimes you might think it's hard but it will get easier, you just have to know what your doing.



  • Care for them. If your best friend is ever upset then ask them what's wrong. They might not tell you straight away but they will in the end, you just have to comfort them and let them know that you are there no matter what. If a boy has upset them then tell them not to worry or it will be ok because you are there for them and your not going any where. Also tell then that there are plenty more boys out there somewhere just waiting for them and that they will find one that loves them for who they are. Just trying to be a good best friend shows them how much you really care. Just remember to help them when they need it... lending a helping hand to your best friend really doesn't cost much. In the end of the day, they would soon do it all for you.



  • Maybe you weren't meant to be best friends. If neither of you make an effort to get together, or if you get into fights with them for no reason, then maybe you weren't meant to be best friends. It's natural to stop having chemistry with a certain person, and if you grow apart, just be happy for the good times, and know how lucky you were to have that great person have a part in your life.



  • Never leave them. I've done this many times before and I regret it alot. Never say "Yeah, I'll walk home with you!" or "I'll meet up with you tomorrow" and then you don't do it. That makes your friend think do I really trust her? Never do this.



  • Tuesday, February 1, 2011

    I'm coming home

    I just love this song.
    I love to hear it melodies.
    Sometimes this song can make me cry and bring beautiful meaning for me.


    I’m coming home
    I’m coming home
    tell the World I’m coming home
    Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
    I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
    I’m coming home, I’m coming home
    tell the World I’m coming

    A men called FATHER

    Father?
    Dad?
    Papa?
    Daddy?

    Does he alive? Does he know that I'm still here waiting for him to give his love to my family?
    Does he ever show his cares to my family?

    My mum, my sisters and my brother, do you ever feel what I feel right now?

    My friends. What do you know about my problem? About me. Myself.

    My love, what do you know about my feelings? Your trust is not mine. You didn't trust me at all. But, I know perhaps it was my mistakes to lose all your trust.

    Dad? Do you ever have a feeling to give your concern to my family?

    Dad. I hate you. You know why? Because you have leave my mum alone. You have made her to cry by her own. You have made me cried. Cried without nobody knows. And now, I'm crying too. While I'm writing this entry, my tears have gone. Gone with you dad. For the past 9 years, you leave us. With no care.

    Fragile? Yes. Everybody do. Heartbroken? Indeed!

    You neglect us. Live happily with your new spouse and your new comer in your house.
    Luckily we manage to survive.

    Because of my mum, I still can eat something good every day. Because of her, I still can breathe today and because of her, I'm stopping crying.

    Patience is everything. She taught this to me for these 9 years. 9 years I live without you by my side.

    Mum, what is living for? And what is dying for? For a glimpse of your smile, I will do both. I LOVE YOU.

    I promise mum, I won't cry anymore. I'm a man. And big enough to think. Thank you mum. 

    Even brighter than the MOON.

    Katy Perry - Firework

    She's beautiful and gorgeous. She sing and in her song she give many beautiful meaning about life. :)

    She has a beautiful meaning melody

    Katy Perry - Thinking Of You.
    Comparisons are easily done
    Once you've had a taste of perfection
    Like an apple hanging from a tree
    I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

    You said move on, where do I go?
    I guess second best is all I will know

    'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
    (Thinking of you, thinking of you)
    Thinking of you, what you would do
    If you were the one who was spending the night
    (Spending the night, spending the night)
    Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

    You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter
    Like a hard candy with a surprise center
    How do I get better once I've had the best?
    You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

    He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
    (Taste your mouth)
    He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself

    'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
    (Thinking of you, thinking of you)
    Thinking of you, what you would do
    If you were the one who was spending the night
    (Spending the night, spending the night)
    Oh, I wish that I was looking into

    You're the best, and yes, I do regret
    How I could let myself let you go
    Now, now the lesson's learned
    I touched it, I was burned
    Oh, I think you should know!

    'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
    (Thinking of you, thinking of you)
    Thinking of you, what you would do
    If you were the one who was spending the night
    (Spending the night, spending the night)
    Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
    Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes

    Oh, won't you walk through?
    And bust in the door and take me away?
    Oh, no more mistakes
    'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

    Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie (Part 2)

    On the first page of our story
    The future seemed so bright
    Then this thing turned out so evil
    I don't know why I'm still surprised
    Even angels have their wicked schemes
    And you take that to new extremes
    But you'll always be my hero
    Even though you've lost your mind

    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
    But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
    But that's all right because I love the way you lie
    I love the way you lie
    Ohhh, I love the way you lie


    Now there's gravel in our voices
    Glass is shattered from the fight
    In this tug of war, you'll always win
    Even when I'm right
    'Cause you feed me fables from your hand
    With violent words and empty threats
    And it's sick that all these battles
    Are what keeps me satisfied

    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
    But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
    But that's all right because I love the way you lie
    I love the way you lie
    Ohhh, I love the way you lie

    So maybe I'm a masochist
    I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave
    Til the walls are goin' up
    In smoke with all our memories

    It's morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
    Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
    Hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry
    That you pushed me into the coffee table last night
    So I can push you off me
    Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
    Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
    Baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me
    Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me
    Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
    Destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we
    Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs
    That we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky
    Together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills,
    You hit me twice, yeah, but who's countin'?
    I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count
    But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain
    Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refused counsellin'
    This house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand
    Square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it
    With you I'm in my f-ckin' mind, without you, I'm out it

    Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
    But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
    Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
    But that's all right because I love the way you lie
    I love the way you lie
    Ohhh, I love the way you lie

    *This so passionate me much.

    I PROMISE.

    I promise that I won’t say “I LOVE YOU” anymore. 
    I swear. 

    I know you hate it. So I won’t say it anymore. No more "I Love YOU"
    I promise. 

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